You are feeling low. You feel that life has you up against the ropes and there is nothing you can do about it. But worse yet, you think everyone else has great life and no one else is suffering. This is quite normal. We tend to shut out the world & focus on just ourselves. This is a built-in self-defense system designed at helping you focus on & fix it. The problem, however, is that when we do this, we can often be left feeling even worse – as we now feel that ‘no one will understand’ and feel shameful about having the issue in the first place. We are now ‘abnormal’ & everyone else is better. But the truth is, there are people feeling much better, but a lot of people feeling a lot worse.
If you are suffering from depression, have major anxiety or even considering self-harm, then you aren’t alone. The World Health Organization estimates that each year, about 1 million people commit suicide. And if you’re reading this, you’re not one of them. Those people also had problems. Problems that they felt overwhelmed by, couldn’t fix or change. They felt helpless & hopeless. Whereas you still have a chance to overcome your struggles.
It is not easy & will take time but it’s completely possible. And when you recognize that other people are also struggling, it makes your problem seem that tiny bit more normal & less scary to overcome.
Because when we have a problem, we tend to play the victim. We tend to think that our problem is the worst in the world and that everyone else is having a great day and has a great life. The reason we do this is because at the end of the day we are the most important person to us. And so, any small problem, is a serious problem – it threatens our happiness. And when one problem pokes up it’s ugly head, it tends to bring friends. That bad day at work is followed by a parking ticket which leads to a burnt dinner and a fight with your partner about it. It leaves you shouting up to the beeping smoke detector “why can I not get catch a break!”
The frustration is at it’s peak. You have reached that point where a shout could turn into a cry in a split second. But you need to take a deep breath in – and realize that life is just challenging you. But it is also challenging a lot of other people too – some (maybe most) even worse than you.
What not to do, is hide away. Isolation keeps us from getting the help we need by taunting us with shame. It also leaves you with only one opinion, yours – which right now isn’t exactly optimistic. The fact is, until we admit we have a problem, we can never fully deal with it.
So, tell yourself that you are not in a good place & that you need to do something about it. The action can be small, it could just be a conversation with someone or doing some research online – but a small action is better than none.
Start to notice people around you. Spend time looking up mental health charities that do work in what you are experiencing right now. You will see that others are hurting and that there are people out there spending time fighting for you.
You never know what the person next to you is going through.
In order to alleviate the pressure you are putting on yourself you could:
- Talk about it. With someone you trust & just let them know how you are feeling and why you think this is happening.
- Do research. Some of the statistics you will read can really show you how normal it is for you to be where you are right now.
- Make a change. Something small even, like a new haircut or new restaurant. The new energy will create a shift in your mind.
- Get out of the house. Do not sit & hide away. This will make you feel like the only person on the planet! Go out & see other people do exist.
- Give Social a break. Stay away from social media as much as you can. Seeing other people celebrating things & announcing good news is only going to make your life seem more average